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The Baby Gizmo Annual Survey of Ridiculous Baby Products

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It’s time for my favorite post of the year: The Baby Gizmo Annual Survey of Ridiculous Baby Products!

You know how much we love baby gear and the more innovative and practical the better. In our search for the best baby gear on the planet, we’ve come across a few things that have made us go, “Huh?!?!” These might not be the most brilliant inventions, but they will certainly get a good laugh.

Zaky Pillow

The Zaky Pillow has made the list again, as it is undeniably one of the creepier baby products on the market. I cannot imagine how startling it would be to check on your sleeping baby only to discover a giant pair of disembodied muppet hands cradling him or her.

The Baby Bangs Hairband

This is, and I quote, “for the girl who has everything except hair.” If the baby girl you are shopping for truly has so much that you need to stoop as low as buying a wig for her, might I suggest making a charitable contribution in her name to a children’s organization instead? Just sayin’.

Thudguard Infant Safety Hat

Not even putting puppy ears on this contraption is going to make it cute. Nice try though. Also, way to capitalize on the natural fear and apprehension every parent feels when their baby becomes mobile. Note: There are specialized helmets made for children with actual medical conditions. This is marketed towards average children.

Nosefrida Nasal Aspirator


In case the picture doesn’t explain it for you, the parent is supposed to suck the snot from their baby’s nose via a small plastic tube. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

The Daddle- A Saddle for Dads

Without running the risk of being offensive, I’m just going to say this: The “Daddle” looks more like something that belongs in the closet and is only brought out once the children have gone to bed. Nuff said.

Baby High Heels

No infant’s wardrobe is complete until she has the perfect pair of heels. You can add these to her collection of baby Spanx, baby miniskirts, and baby push up bras. I just hope they come with a pair of baby orthotics too.

Potty Mitts

This is the perfect item for the future little germaphobe. Forget the customary post-potty hand washing. Potty mitts take sanitary bathroom habits to the next level.

Toddler Tracker

This handy tracking device removes the inconvenience of having to actually watch your children. Outings to the park just got a lot more fun- for you! Now, where did I put that People Magazine?

Pacifier Thermometer and Medicine Dispenser

Good luck getting your screaming infant to suck on this long enough to get an accurate temperature read. Oh, and you can forget about tricking them into sucking the medicine out of it too.

Baby Bubadoo Changing Wrap

Really? Is it that hard to change a diaper?

My Pee Pee Bottle

No, your eyes aren’t fooling you. It’s a bottle. For pee pee. Please don’t buy this. The risk of confusing it for a water filled bottle is too great.

The Baby Snuggie by Peekaru

Listen, all mothers make certain fashion sacrifices in the name of comfort. We have to draw the line somewhere. This is inexcusable.

The Babykeeper Basic

There are no words.

Baby Perfume

There’s a reason everyone talks about how good babies smell, and it isn’t because they are wearing perfume.

Breastfeeding Bra for Men

Nooooo! My eyes, my eyes! I’m all for hand-on dads, but this is taking things a little too far. Good thing it’s a joke. Gotcha!

Moms- what are some of the most ridiculous products that you’ve discovered?

Comments

  1. Ha ha! I totally agree. I also posted about the hang your baby on a wall thing. Crazy. Although I almost agree with the wrap your kid up to change em thing. Mine turns into an octopus, screaming, flipping, and all still with poo on his bottom. But, I did say almost. Nicely done!

  2. Morgan! Didn’t know you blogged other places besides your blog!

    These are all ridiculous but I must say that the Peekaru really is great for winter time babywearing. It’s not a baby snuggie, that’s just a weird photo! :)

  3. Totally laughing, great post!

  4. These are great. Although, I have a product similar to the nose sucker and it works great. Also, you put a tissue in mine, so there’s no way the snot can get near your mouth. It works MUCH better than the traditional aspirator.

  5. I can honestly see myself in a Daddle. My daughter is on my back all the time, the daddle will probably help ease the pain.

  6. Hilarous post!! I cannot believe these products exist. You are such a great writer Morgan!

  7. I have the Snot Sucker! It actually works great.

  8. Donna says:

    OMG!! I cannot believe these gadgets! Personally, I see a
    lot of “hands off” ignorance here. If parents now days are looking
    to ensure their children require a therapist growing up, or want
    their kids to feel unloved and as precious as they really are these
    contraptions were made to order! Hands and arms mean much more -
    AND they’re free (and washable too!) Quit wasting your money and
    start loving your child instead – ie’s much more rewarding now and
    in the long run!

  9. Cat Lemieux says:

    This is scary & ridiculous & i haven’t laugh so loud in a long time!
    Thank you for making me aware of this insanity – i will no longer be able to sleep at night.
    Our society is sooooo bored…
    Now I’m sad.
    ;0(
    LOVEcat

  10. these are cute. The Baby Snuggie by Peekaru reminds me of the movei Alien!

  11. The Daddle……Ha! Awesome post, now back to wearing my breastfeeding bra :)

  12. Arlene says:

    Funny list! I have to confess that I actually have the Nosefrida. It actually works pretty well, better than the regular aspirator,. And no, you don’t get the baby snot anywhere near your mouth.

  13. Christina says:

    Personally I think The Peepee Teepee is pretty silly too. A wash cloth or wipe do the trick is needed.

  14. Lindsay says:

    While living in Japan for the past 4 years I grew to really appreciate the effectiveness of products like the nose frida. They actually work very well and have barriers in place so that the removed mucus gets nowhere near your mouth. I would never bother with the useless bulb style again.

  15. Leslie G says:

    Oh my goodness I laughed so hard my poor little baby is wide awake. I think the wig thing is super duper scary.

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